The Impact of Toxic Relationships In Recovery

Toxic habits like drug and alcohol addiction tend to attract toxic people. When you’re using, you may not be aware of the toxic relationships that are closest to you. Even non-addicts get sucked into emotionally destructive relationships.

This article discusses the pitfalls of toxic relationships in drug and alcohol recovery, how to avoid them, how to recognize them, how to get out of them, and how to recover.

How Toxic Relationships Start in the First Place

In the psychology of relationships, like attracts like. A common thread among addicted individuals is a turbulent family background. Drug and alcohol addiction can stunt emotional development and lead to poor coping skills. You repeat what you know, and before you realize it, you’re in a stormy relationship surrounded by negative people. These relationships can easily threaten alcohol and drug recovery.

Don’t be too hard on yourself! Your predisposition to unhealthy relationships is part of a well-documented phenomenon called assortative mating. It’s the natural process of selecting friends and partners who are similar to yourself.

How to Identify Toxic Relationships In Recovery

The first step towards weeding out toxic relationships is to identify them. How does that person make you feel? Do they help you feel more positive or negative? You’re going to need all the positivity you can get throughout alcohol and drug recovery, and there’s no room for negative deadweight.

Do they take part in destructive activities, like doing a lot of drugs, drinking frequently, and hanging out with the wrong crowd? Other toxic behaviors include stirring up excess drama, self-centeredness, and violating personal boundaries.

To simplify the process of identifying toxic people, see if you can categorize them into one of these five categories: Narcissist (self-absorbed), Underminer (back-stabbing, deceptive), Chronic Downer (depressed, negative), Flake (unreliable), or Critic (judgemental).

Keep a log of how your emotions change when you’re around them. After a few weeks of logging, their impact will be obvious. Making a record of your feelings makes it easier to decide to exit the relationship. The decision will already be on paper and more difficult to ignore.

How to End a Toxic Relationship

Addiction is a toxic habit that can feel impossible to break. Toxic relationships can be equally hard to end. You have to value your survival and ultimate happiness above all else. As you grow into the person you’re becoming, you’ll need to shed old relationships like a snake sheds its skin. You don’t have to stop loving the person, but you may very well need to stop seeing them.

There’s no easy way to end an intimate friendship or romantic relationship, just like there’s no easy way to get clean and sober. Chances are, it’s going to hurt. Keep in mind that your decision to end the relationship could be the wake-up call they need. When you run into them years down the line, they may thank you for inspiring them to turn a pivotal corner in their life.

How to Recover From a Toxic Relationship

In the aftermath of ending a toxic relationship, it’s important to surround yourself with positive friends. Positivity is contagious. You’ll need to soak up all the good energy you can in the wake a painful breakup.

Allow yourself to rest. In the midst of great change, having time to reflect is critical. Give your emotional equilibrium time to adjust. Build some alone time into your weekly routine. Fill that time with exploring things that interest you. Connect with productive activities. When it’s time to build new relationships, you’ll have positive interests to bond over.

Evaluating New Relationships In Recovery

According to Linda E. Weinberger, professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Keck School of Medicine of USC, idealization blinds people to the “red flags” of toxic relationships. You’re drawn to partners due to unconscious or semi-conscious drives that are influenced by cultural and biological forces.

Ask yourself a few simple questions to determine if a new friend will make a positive impact on your alcohol and drug recovery.

Do you feel more stressed around them?
Do you feel needy for their affirmation?
Do you feel manipulated or controlled in any way? Do they come across as jealous or possessive? Are they involved in destructive relationships?
Do they lack productive goals?

If the answer to these questions is a giant “NO,” then they may be a good candidate for a new relationship.

The Effects of Toxic Relationships on Health

When you’re in the midst of a toxic relationship, the adverse effects may be obvious to everyone but you. Toxic relationships can make you distrust the voice inside your head that points out red flags.

Toxic relationships elevate stress hormones. The constant tension from the relationship can keep the body’s fight-or-flight response engaged continuously. This may lead to chronic fatigue, a weakened immune system, poor digestive health, and hormonal imbalances.

The Whitehall II study was a landmark body of research on the effects of toxic relationships on stress and health. Researchers analyzed more than 10,000 people over the course of 12 years. They found that people who stay in negative relationships have an increased risk of dying from strokes and heart attacks. The effects have to do with a mechanism in the body called the CTRA (conserved transcriptional response to adversity). The CTRA is overactive in people who stay in toxic relationships, leading to increased inflammation and low immunity.

Other research has found that hostile relationships can even slow the healing of wounds.

Final Thoughts on Toxic Relationships and Recovery

Toxic relationships can be challenging to identify. It’s critical to your drug and alcohol recovery that you end toxic relationships and replace them with positive ones. Recovery is a time of dramatic change. Not everyone who you’ve bonded with during addiction will be a healthy presence as you move forward. Make a log of how the people closest to you make you feel. If their impact is thoroughly negative, they’ll have to go. Your health and recovery are at stake.


If you or someone you love is struggling with drug or alcohol addiction, Stonewall Institute Treatment Center is happy to answer any questions you may have. Call us today at 602-535 6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

A Guide to Avoiding Relapse

One aspect of recovery many people worry about is relapse.  Simply defined, relapse is when an individual in recovery uses a substance again in some capacity.  In some cases, relapse is an isolated incident and the individuals returns to their life of sobriety soon after.  In other cases, the individual may spiral into the cycle of addiction once again.

 

Relapse is not a rare circumstance.  In fact, over 85% of previously addicted individuals will likely relapse within the first year of sobriety.  Drug and alcohol addiction is without a doubt one of the hardest diseases to overcome, so the reported relapse rates are not surprising to many.

 

When individuals relapse, many often feel a sense of failure, shame, and/or guilt.  It’s extremely important to reiterate:  Relapsing does not equate to failure.  Although it can be difficult to come to terms with a recent relapse, those in recovery must be reminded that taking their recovery day by day is key, and if relapse occurs, they can start again the next day.

 

But sometimes it isn’t that simple.  The relapse may trigger a binge, which may trigger another downward spiral into addiction once again.  The feelings of failure, shame, and guilt only exasperate the problem, and without the proper tools, the individual may lose everything they worked so hard to achieve.

 

This is why educating people about relapse prevention is crucial prior to or during treatment/aftercare.  If you or anyone you love is thinking about committing to the process of recovery, relapse prevention will be one of the most important lessons learned.

 

With the knowledge contained here, an individual struggling with addiction will understand that their recovery will be a continuous process, even after treatment.  In fact, it’s something they’re going to have to work on for the rest of their lives.

 

Within treatment centers, the proper motivation behind preventing relapse is widely discussed. Many times, an addicted individual ends up in rehabilitation through the efforts of a loved one. Although striving to not let down their family is motivation for many people in recovery, it’s not the sole motivation needed to transform their lives.

 

The best motivation comes from oneself.  The motivation that they themselves want to get better and that they need to be the one to make the change. They can realize the impact their disease is having on those around them, but when they realize that their substance use is controlling their lives and they’re they only ones able to stop it, that’s when they can make the brave decision to change for him/herself.

 

With this motivation, preventing relapse may become an easier feat.  When their self-worth and self-acceptance is positive, they’re more likely to recognize triggers that could spark a relapse.  And if they do in fact relapse, they can forgive themselves far easier because they know relapsing is a part of recovery and not something to be ashamed of.

 

For most individuals, there are three powerful tips that are given in concerns with avoiding relapse. Though the number of tips offered isn’t limited to the following three, these are generally considered the most effective.

 

  1. Seek out professional substance use help when you begin your recovery, through it, and even afterward.
  2. Consider what you’re going to experience throughout your recovery and set realistically healthy goals.
  3. Look for the people that will benefit you the most. Whether this is family, friends, or a community of other recovering individuals.

The true mark of successful recovery is the amount of commitment one puts into it.  Recovery requires a tremendous amount of commitment and hard work, but when an individual’s commitments are grounded in positive self-image, self-love, and self-acceptance, recovery can become easier day by day.

 

That’s not to say recovery is easy for some and difficult for others.  It will be difficult regardless, and we must come to terms with that when we make the decision to become sober.  We must realize that every day will be a struggle for awhile, but at the same time hold on to the notion that one day it will get easier and your life will change for the better.

 

Seeking Professional Help

 

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, individuals who seek treatment are making an effort that goes beyond stopping drug abuse. “…the goal of treatment is to return people to productive functioning in the family, workplace, and community.”

 

The Institute claims that people who’re properly committed to treatment not only avoid drug use after recovery, but also decrease their criminal record and improve their occupational, social, and psychological functioning.

 

Within a qualified drug rehabilitation center, individuals suffering from addiction can expect to receive a treatment that correlates entirely with their situation as well as assurance for the right professional care.  Being that detoxing is an important first step, it’s vital this is done under a highly trained medical staff.

 

Withdrawals are never easy and on occasion, can even be fatal.  Under professional care, it’s assured you’ll not only rid your body of the substance, but you’ll be doing so under the most comfortable techniques known to modern medicine.

 

The detox is almost always followed up by a therapeutic stage in which individuals must reflect on the emotions that they’ve tied so closely together with their drug use.  This stage is just as vital as detoxing.  Even though the body is rid of a chemical, the mind will still have urges for it and may experience triggers.  Giving insight as to why relapse is an issue to begin with.

 

Therapy comes in all shapes and sizes. Depending on the individual, different programs will be sought out to fit their emotional circumstances.  Regardless of the individual, the goal of therapy is to relinquish those past emotions attached to drugs or alcohol and replace them with new optimism.

 

There are often instances where individuals seek out treatment but have preoccupations they can’t just leave behind such as family, work, or schooling.  If this is your case, you might want to look into an intensive outpatient program (IOP).  This program will give you all the same benefits as if you were entering a drug rehabilitation center while remaining flexible with your outside life.

 

Please note that Intensive Outpatient Treatment is simply one avenue to explore, and your best option to determine the correct treatment method for your circumstance is to seek a substance use evaluation from a licensed substance abuse counselor.

 

The importance of any treatment decision is that you’re seeking professional help.  Even after treatment is taken care of, it’s always recommended to continue on with other forms of support – such as 12-step meetings, sober living, and aftercare services.  A professional will always be there to help you on specific issues and unlike loved ones, they hold the opportunity to discover exact answers to your dilemmas.

 

Set Healthy and Realistic Objectives

 

If anything is guaranteed after intensive treatment, it’s that you know exactly the person you’ll be when you return to real life.  When really considered, you’re about to put your body and mind through a complete change and with this comes a new onset of emotions that aren’t always so clear in the beginning stages.  Another important piece of aftercare is readjusting to civilian life and avoiding people, places, or things that may trigger a relapse.

 

Setting unrealistic goals right away may also lead to relapse.  Telling yourself you can go out with your friends to a dinner without drinking or thinking you’re able to take the same route to work that you did while in the midst of your addiction may very well trigger relapse.

 

Realistic objectives are different for different people.  One person’s objective may include getting out of bed each day, brushing their teeth, showering, and putting on clothes that aren’t pajamas.  Another person’s objective may be finding the courage to cut ties with former friends and acquantiences that enabled their addiction.

 

Your recovery is completely your own and the pace at which you enter back into your life is completely up to you.  With a positive and healthy mindset, you’ll be automatically setting yourself up on the path of a successful recovery if you have realistic goals you can accomplish.

 

 

Keep Loved Ones Close

 

Family members, friends, and other close loved ones are usually the core of support for any person recovering from addiction.  This comes as no surprise as these people will be the ones there for you after treatment is over and as already mentioned, your recovery goes beyond checking in and out of a treatment facility.  It goes into the right kind of motivation.  Loved ones can be just that.

 

Though professional help should always be the first course of action, it is equally as important to surround yourself with an amazing support system after intensive treatment.  With the right support system, love, and proper aftercare, the chance of relapse can diminish greatly.

 

There will be instances where cravings come back, triggers happen, and suddenly relapse seems like a real possibility.  In these instances, a loved one can be the immediate source of comfort.  If the cravings continue, it’s important to speak with a substance abuse professional right away.

 

It must also be noted that participating in a 12-step program that lends support from others in the same place as you is also vital to maintaining sobriety.  There are other community support groups that aren’t 12-step, but working the steps has proven to be highly beneficial and provides a support system when loved ones may not be enough.  Even if a loved one is available for comfort, support groups have one trait loved ones don’t.  That is other individuals who’ve gone through similar experiences. Therefore, experiencing similar emotions.

 

Remember:  Recovery is not one-size-fits-all and relapse is a part of recovery.  If you or somebody you love experiences a relapse, know that it does not make you a bad person and will never make you a failure.  It may be viewed as a temporary setback, but never anything that defines you as a person or defines your commitment to your sobriety.

 

Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.

 

 

If you or anyone you know is looking for an alcohol or drug treatment program that’s right for them or you’re looking for more information on relapse and how to avoid it, Stonewall Institute Treatment Center is happy to help.  Please, give us a call today at (602) 535 6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.  We’re here for you.

Best Substance Abuse Treatment Arizona

Stonewall Institute is the best drug rehab in Arizona without the high cost of residential drug treatment.   Our Intensive Outpatient Program for substance abuse is one of the most affordable drug treatment programs in Arizona.  Offered in an upscale office environment, everything about this program is designed to help anyone struggling with drug use feel comfortable about asking for help.  We approach everyday issues such as drug using triggers as they occur and teach coping skills.  Our drug relapse prevention program is second to none.  The IOP accepts insurance and also offers payment plans.   If you are concerned about your drug or alcohol use, contact us today at 602-535-6468 or visit us on the web at www.stonewallinstitute.com