Dating in Recovery

Thinking of starting your first intimate relationship post-drug or alcohol addiction? The right relationship can strengthen your alcohol and drug recovery. At the same time, dating the wrong person can push you towards relapse. Here are a few things to consider before you start a new relationship.

Build Positive Self-Care Habits First

While you take time to reflect on past dating habits, work on loving and caring for yourself. Loving another person in an intimate relationship starts with loving yourself. Build a foundation of self-love and positive self-care habits before you move on to your next relationship.

One of the biggest threats to a successful addiction recovery is stress. The passion of romance can be stressful, especially for those recovering from alcohol and drugs. Jumping into a new relationship before you master fulfilling your own emotional needs can lead to addiction relapse.

Ask yourself:

  • “Am I happy most days?”
  • “When I get upset, do I keep it in perspective?”
  • “Do I feel just as happy alone as I do with other people?”
  • “Am I excelling at work without feeling stressed out?”

If you can answer “YES!” to these questions, then it’s a good sign that you’re ready for a relationship.

Take Care of a Plant, Volunteer, Start a Project

Once you’ve taken care of your own happiness, try adding on some extra challenges. Taking care of a plant is a classic addiction-recovery cliche. If plants aren’t your thing, try taking on a volunteer project. This can be fulfilling in itself. If you can’t sacrifice a few hours every week to help others, do you really think you’re ready for an intimate relationship? Relationships are time-consuming and can present a lot of emotional challenges. Volunteering is a nice stepping stone.

Before you move on to a relationship, pick up a hobby or start a passion project. It will also help keep you sober and on track with your addiction recovery journey. When you start a new relationship, you’ll have less time to go around. You don’t want to feel like the relationship is preventing you from doing what you love. Once you’ve proven that you can donate time to others and dedicate time to your passions, it may be time to consider dating.

Recognizing Past Relationship Habits

As a recovering alcoholic or drug addicted individual, there’s a chance that you’ve developed some less-than-healthy relationship habits. Before you jump into a new intimate relationship post-addiction, it’s important to press pause and see if you can find any negative patterns that you’d rather not repeat.

Dating instincts are mostly subconscious. The relationship patterns you witnessed your parents engage in can have a significant impact on your dating habits as an adult. If you had parents who were addicted to alcohol or drugs, you might have absorbed some unhealthy dating tendencies. Relationships in the fog of addiction play out differently than when you’re dating with a clean brain and a clear head. By identifying negative patterns in past relationships, your next one will have a better chance of going well.

Avoiding Toxic People

It’s never time to start a new relationship with someone who isn’t emotionally healthy. When you feel like you’re ready, you need to be confident that your new partner will have a positive influence.

Negative interpersonal interactions have an adverse effect on mental health. How do you know that the person you’re interested in is healthy? Take a look at their life as a whole. Do they have a healthy social life? This looks different for every person. They don’t have to have a ton of friends, but they do need to be satisfied with the ones they have. Do they talk positively about life?

People tend to put there best foot forward in the early stages of a relationship. If you’ve only known someone for a few weeks and they’re already complaining, it’s not a good sign.

Start Slow, Love Can Be a Drug

There’s no reason to jump the gun. Take things slow. It can be easy to get too absorbed in your first relationship as a recovering addict. While you were using, you may have deprived yourself of close bonds and genuine emotional connections. Time was spent interacting casually, catching a buzz, and going about your day.

The authentic love of your first intimate relationship can be a drug in itself. In fact, love is a drug — oxytocin to be exact. Oxytocin is a hormone that acts on opioid receptors. It’s activated when you experience emotional and physical intimacy. Oxytocin is influential in the formation of social bonds. The desire to give yourself over to the satisfaction and relief that oxytocin provides can be powerful. Romance has the potential to distract you from your drug and/or alcohol recovery. Your affection should feel like a choice, not an addiction.

Communication is Key

Date someone who is an excellent communicator. Make sure that they’re open to answering questions about their past and answering difficult questions. As somebody working on your addiction recovery, you may have a tumultuous past. Dating someone who’s uncomfortable talking about it isn’t conducive to a healthy and positive addiction recovery. The person you date should be willing to discuss the impact that the relationship is having on your recovery.

Recovery needs to be your priority, and the person you date has to understand that. After all, if you relapse, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship becomes strained.

The High Stakes of Relationships in Recovery

You have to be ruthless with relationships in alcohol and drug recovery. The stakes are high. As your relationship grows, it can impact you in one of two ways. If communication is open and fearless, it can lead to success in recovery and make you a healthier person. If you or the other person doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the hard stuff, it will inevitably strain the relationship and your recovery.

By recognizing past relationship habits, avoiding toxic people, focusing on yourself first, and starting slowly, you can build a relationship that will strengthen your addiction recovery journey and bring joy into your life.


If you or anyone you love is seeking an individual counselingintensive outpatient treatment program, or are just seeking more information, Stonewall Institute Treatment Center is glad to help. Please, give us a call today at (602) 535 6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

The Impact of Toxic Relationships In Recovery

Toxic habits like drug and alcohol addiction tend to attract toxic people. When you’re using, you may not be aware of the toxic relationships that are closest to you. Even non-addicts get sucked into emotionally destructive relationships.

This article discusses the pitfalls of toxic relationships in drug and alcohol recovery, how to avoid them, how to recognize them, how to get out of them, and how to recover.

How Toxic Relationships Start in the First Place

In the psychology of relationships, like attracts like. A common thread among addicted individuals is a turbulent family background. Drug and alcohol addiction can stunt emotional development and lead to poor coping skills. You repeat what you know, and before you realize it, you’re in a stormy relationship surrounded by negative people. These relationships can easily threaten alcohol and drug recovery.

Don’t be too hard on yourself! Your predisposition to unhealthy relationships is part of a well-documented phenomenon called assortative mating. It’s the natural process of selecting friends and partners who are similar to yourself.

How to Identify Toxic Relationships In Recovery

The first step towards weeding out toxic relationships is to identify them. How does that person make you feel? Do they help you feel more positive or negative? You’re going to need all the positivity you can get throughout alcohol and drug recovery, and there’s no room for negative deadweight.

Do they take part in destructive activities, like doing a lot of drugs, drinking frequently, and hanging out with the wrong crowd? Other toxic behaviors include stirring up excess drama, self-centeredness, and violating personal boundaries.

To simplify the process of identifying toxic people, see if you can categorize them into one of these five categories: Narcissist (self-absorbed), Underminer (back-stabbing, deceptive), Chronic Downer (depressed, negative), Flake (unreliable), or Critic (judgemental).

Keep a log of how your emotions change when you’re around them. After a few weeks of logging, their impact will be obvious. Making a record of your feelings makes it easier to decide to exit the relationship. The decision will already be on paper and more difficult to ignore.

How to End a Toxic Relationship

Addiction is a toxic habit that can feel impossible to break. Toxic relationships can be equally hard to end. You have to value your survival and ultimate happiness above all else. As you grow into the person you’re becoming, you’ll need to shed old relationships like a snake sheds its skin. You don’t have to stop loving the person, but you may very well need to stop seeing them.

There’s no easy way to end an intimate friendship or romantic relationship, just like there’s no easy way to get clean and sober. Chances are, it’s going to hurt. Keep in mind that your decision to end the relationship could be the wake-up call they need. When you run into them years down the line, they may thank you for inspiring them to turn a pivotal corner in their life.

How to Recover From a Toxic Relationship

In the aftermath of ending a toxic relationship, it’s important to surround yourself with positive friends. Positivity is contagious. You’ll need to soak up all the good energy you can in the wake a painful breakup.

Allow yourself to rest. In the midst of great change, having time to reflect is critical. Give your emotional equilibrium time to adjust. Build some alone time into your weekly routine. Fill that time with exploring things that interest you. Connect with productive activities. When it’s time to build new relationships, you’ll have positive interests to bond over.

Evaluating New Relationships In Recovery

According to Linda E. Weinberger, professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Keck School of Medicine of USC, idealization blinds people to the “red flags” of toxic relationships. You’re drawn to partners due to unconscious or semi-conscious drives that are influenced by cultural and biological forces.

Ask yourself a few simple questions to determine if a new friend will make a positive impact on your alcohol and drug recovery.

Do you feel more stressed around them?
Do you feel needy for their affirmation?
Do you feel manipulated or controlled in any way? Do they come across as jealous or possessive? Are they involved in destructive relationships?
Do they lack productive goals?

If the answer to these questions is a giant “NO,” then they may be a good candidate for a new relationship.

The Effects of Toxic Relationships on Health

When you’re in the midst of a toxic relationship, the adverse effects may be obvious to everyone but you. Toxic relationships can make you distrust the voice inside your head that points out red flags.

Toxic relationships elevate stress hormones. The constant tension from the relationship can keep the body’s fight-or-flight response engaged continuously. This may lead to chronic fatigue, a weakened immune system, poor digestive health, and hormonal imbalances.

The Whitehall II study was a landmark body of research on the effects of toxic relationships on stress and health. Researchers analyzed more than 10,000 people over the course of 12 years. They found that people who stay in negative relationships have an increased risk of dying from strokes and heart attacks. The effects have to do with a mechanism in the body called the CTRA (conserved transcriptional response to adversity). The CTRA is overactive in people who stay in toxic relationships, leading to increased inflammation and low immunity.

Other research has found that hostile relationships can even slow the healing of wounds.

Final Thoughts on Toxic Relationships and Recovery

Toxic relationships can be challenging to identify. It’s critical to your drug and alcohol recovery that you end toxic relationships and replace them with positive ones. Recovery is a time of dramatic change. Not everyone who you’ve bonded with during addiction will be a healthy presence as you move forward. Make a log of how the people closest to you make you feel. If their impact is thoroughly negative, they’ll have to go. Your health and recovery are at stake.


If you or someone you love is struggling with drug or alcohol addiction, Stonewall Institute Treatment Center is happy to answer any questions you may have. Call us today at 602-535 6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

How to Carry Out a Substance Abuse Intervention

How to Carry Out a Substance Abuse Intervention

More often than not, a loved one places an individual addicted to alcohol or drugs into an alcohol and drug treatment program without much of their consent. With this comes lots of consequence that too often isn’t considered. Due to the fact that the addicted individual doesn’t want to make the change for themselves, there’s too likely of a chance of drug and alcohol relapse.

The only way to assure that alcohol and drug treatment will work is when the individual wants the change for himself/herself. Without this desire, they lack the motivation to go down the rough (but rewarding) path of alcohol and drug recovery. Even though it can be very difficult to give someone this motivation, it is possible. And it’s possible through an intervention.

The purpose of intervention is to help these individuals realize their need for alcohol and drug treatment. This can be done solely through the emotional offering of loved ones.

The Confrontational

 

This is the most direct form of an alcohol or drug intervention one can find. Just as the name implies, it’s an encounter that involves changing the addict’s frame of mind. For some time, the confrontational intervention was done as a means of punishment. Everyone involved would point out the addict’s flaws and criticize until some kind of emotion came out. Punishment being viewed as a means of focus until the individual changed his or her ways.

Now, these flaws are viewed more as an illness. And instead of criticism, there is meant to be a sense of support in the confrontation. This is one of the most widely acclaimed methods of drug and alcohol intervention and generally the go-to for many supporters looking to change their loved one. It’s been studied that addicted individuals genuinely react better to a confrontation that remains positive rather than negative.

The reason for this is many don’t want to be blamed for their life decisions. Though some of this might occur, they’d rather feel optimism when coming out of the intervention. A positive point-of-view that their lives have a chance to change and flourish in any direction they can dream.

This is the desired outcome of a successful intervention. How to go about it will be different for different families and friends. However, there are a few aspects that remain the same.

  1. Make a note as to where the addicted individual has gone wrong (without placing blame).
  2. Inform them that you have strong hope for their potential.
  3. Offer alcohol and drug treatment options.
  4. Make sure they never forget the support you will always offer on their journey.

The Johnson Model

 

Though there are some relatable aspects of the confrontational intervention, the Johnson Model holds one distinct difference. The idea behind this kind of intervention is to highly educate loved ones and supporter of the addict’s situation. With this, it’s also important to bring to mind how the addict should be confronted and how to find him or her help.

The Johnson Model intervention generally requires multiple meetings as a way of digging into the individual’s frame of mind. Due to this, a drug and alcohol mental health professional is often ideal as they will know the direction in which to take the conversation. With a substance abuse professional and multiple interventions, there’s a likely chance that the addict will feel less of a need to defend themselves. And more of a desire to open up about their problem.

Tough Love

 

There are many instances where the loved ones of a drug and alcohol addict are too afraid to say no. With this kind of easy-going attitude, the addicted individual often gets him/herself further into a drug and alcohol addiction without feeling any sense of consequence. This is ideal for family members with the desperate desire to get the addict into alcohol and drug intensive inpatient and outpatient treatment, but who’s also unsure as to how to carry this out.

However, it should be noted that this is often a last resort intervention method. The reason being is that there are plenty of instances where the addict ends up feeling a backlash from those who care – as though he/she is being punished and blamed. Therefore, the addicted individual ends up pushing himself further away from loved ones and further into drug and alcohol addiction.

A trained substance use professional is highly suggested for the Tough Love method. Within the method, lots of threats will be made towards the addicted individual. These heavy threats need to be followed through if the addict doesn’t comply. If not, then there’s the sense that the loved one doesn’t really know what he/she is doing. An alcohol and drug counselor can guide these threats and reassure that they will be followed through on.

The purpose of Tough Love is to limit all resources you provide to the individual until alcohol and drug treatment is seriously considered. These resources can include money, around-the-house tasks, or even the shelter you’re providing.

With a substance use professional helping the loved one throughout this intervention, they can also help out the addicted individual. For the Tough Love method often leaves them feeling victimized and in a situation where no one is truly there for them. The professional alcohol and drug counselor may need to be the one there.

As you can see, this isn’t something most loved ones want to go through and should only be done as a last resort.

The Crisis

 

The purpose of this type of intervention is fairly obvious. It’s meant for individuals going through an emergency situation – in an example, someone who’s just overdosed. Though the height of the emergency holds importance to the decision, most of the time, alcohol and drug treatment is necessary as immediately as possible.

There’s a problem underlying the crisis that’s mentioned in the introduction. If the addicted individual doesn’t desire to enter alcohol and substance use treatment, then this immediacy may seem entirely useless. For these kinds of situations, you might want to get a substance abuse professional involved in the intervention itself. Professionals specializing in alcohol and drug use hold the capability of getting individuals evaluated for commitment.

As you will assume, there are still occasions where individuals aren’t in the right frame of mind to be entering alcohol and drug treatment. However, if he or she is in a position of harming themselves or others around them, force may be necessary. It’s not the ideal way to go about substance use treatment, but unfortunately, for some people, it’s absolutely necessary.

The reason being is addicted individuals are highly prone to mental disorders. With this comes a risk for suicide. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, ninety percent of suicide victims are mentally ill. As claimed by Helpguide, fifty percent of people who suffer from mental health abuse some kind of substance.

Still, the cause of a crisis goes beyond mental health. There are instances that will appear in anyone’s life that can throw them into a state of emergency – heavy financial problems, legal issues, homelessness, etc.

To top it off, the crisis could be stemming into other people’s lives rather than the addict’s. In an example, a pill-addicted mother may be ignorant towards her child.

The crisis intervention is without a doubt the most difficult kind to handle – crises are never expected. Therefore, gather together the necessary loved ones to have the intervention with may be very short notice and unplanned. With that, it is suggested you get an alcohol and drug counselor involved in setting up the dialogue of conversation. This will guarantee that what needs to be said will be conversed and the possibility of alcohol and drug treatment will be the dominant topic.

The ARISE Method

 

According to the American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, the ARISE method works about eighty-three percent of the time. Patients who receive this form of alcohol and drug intervention often feel moved by it for an important reason. It incorporates both direct and indirect models of intervention.

As opposed to the confrontational or Tough Love method – in which an addicted individual is ridiculed for their behavior – the ARISE method seeks to solve the addiction problem. Involving both the loved ones and the addicted individual through both of their perspectives. The entire focus of the method is to create a better family, not a better individual.

Once the addicted individual agrees to go to alcohol and drug treatment, all loved ones involved in the intervention must experience a treatment of their own. Generally, it’s some form of counseling that teaches loved ones to manage their lives around the addict. With that, the loved ones will be expected to learn how to help their addict after treatment and how to cure any negative wounds produced by the drug and alcohol addiction.

Often, the ARISE method is planned in advance and has the potential to go through a couple of meetings. These interventions are meant to encourage addicted individuals while educating family members too.

Is an Intervention Right for You?

 

There are many occasions where addicted individuals don’t need an intervention to realize they need drug and alcohol treatment. Sometimes, it just hits them at the right moment of their lives. The necessity for a change becomes overwhelmingly dominant.

Yet, there remain plenty of cases where an addicted individual is in denial over the harm they are doing to others and themselves. And these are typically the addicted individuals that need an alcohol and drug intervention. There’s the common occurrence that an individual doesn’t even realize they have a problem with alcohol and/or drugs until somebody brings it up.

If you or anyone you love is seeking an intensive outpatient treatment program or are just seeking more information on interventions, Stonewall Institute Treatment Center is glad to help. Please, give us a call today at (602) 535 6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

What Makes Xanax So Dangerous to Take Recreationally?

What Makes Xanax So Dangerous to Take Recreationally?

The medical community first made Xanax, an anti-anxiety medication, available as a prescription in 1981. Today, drug dealers produce fake Xanax at alarming rates. The problem is that these pills are often pressed with other substances, including the lethal opioid fentanyl. As a result, overdose cases are increasingly common. In the rest of this article, we’re going to discuss the addictive properties of Xanax and why it’s so deadly when combined with fentanyl.

Xanax Drug Facts

Xanax, whose chemical name is alprazolam, has been heavily popularized by contemporary rap music. Its recreational use has skyrocketed over the last few years, and the prevalence of fake Xanax has gone up with it. A drug dealer can easily buy a pill press for $20 on the internet, crush up whatever substances they like, and sell it as prescription-grade alprazolam.

Mechanism of Action

Xanax is in a class of drugs called benzodiazepines, which act on the brain by binding to specific GABA receptors. GABA is one of the primary neurotransmitters that impact anxiety. It’s inhibitory, meaning that GABA tells other neurotransmitters to calm down when they’re overactive. In the case of GABA, it communicates with the neurotransmitter glutamate. When you’re having anxiety, the over-expression of glutamate can be part of the cause. In cases such as these, a benzodiazepine like Xanax can suppress the expression of glutamate, resulting in decreased feelings of anxiety.

About Legal Xanax

Today, Xanax is one of the most widely prescribed drugs in the United States and is the most frequently prescribed benzodiazepine. Other benzodiazepines include diazepam, estazolam, quazepam, and clonazepam, among others. For most people, their first experience with Xanax is a legal prescription from their doctor. The most classic indication for Xanax is persistent anxiety accompanied by depression. Xanax is also prescribed for panic attacks, but since the development of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), benzodiazepines have become a secondary line of defense in such cases.

Xanax is Highly Addictive

Even with the blessing of your doctor, you should exercise extreme caution when taking Xanax. The tendency for Xanax addiction is high with benzodiazepines compared to other prescription drugs, and the withdrawals can be severe. In fact, benzodiazepines are the only class of drugs besides alcohol that can cause seizures upon withdrawal.

Withdrawal Symptoms of Xanax

Users who are trying to quit after a long period of use are most at risk for seizures. Other symptoms of withdrawal from long-term Xanax use include psychotic episodes, hallucinations, and suicide. Long-term use is described as daily Xanax use for three months or longer.

Those who take Xanax less frequently are still susceptible to a long list of side effects when they try to stop. These can include headache, nausea, palpitations, sleep disturbance, panic attacks, irritability, anxiety, poor memory, muscular pain and stiffness, hand tremors, and increased tension.

Gradually reducing your dosage over time can help to minimize withdrawal symptoms. It is not safe to abruptly discontinue long-term benzodiazepine use.

What Law Enforcement Has To Say About Fentanyl Use

According to the Drug Enforcement Agency’s (DEA) website, fentanyl is a banned opioid substance and is largely responsible for the recent nationwide spike in drug overdoses. Fentanyl, initially synthesized over 50 years ago, has enmeshed itself into the international drug supply. One of the most common final destinations for illicit fentanyl is the inside of an illegally pressed Xanax pill.

Why It’s So Easy to Overdose On Xanax That’s Laced With Fentanyl

Fentanyl is a cheap, synthetic opioid that’s far too potent for recreational use. Ironically, this is precisely why its use is so widespread. By sprinkling just a little bit of fentanyl into their Xanax concoction, dealers can significantly amplify the high. The danger is that adding even slightly too much fentanyl can result in a drug overdose. The likelihood of overdose increases when combined with a high Xanax dosage, other drugs, or alcohol.

Symptoms of Overdose From Xanax/Fentanyl

According to the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency, fentanyl is 100 times more potent than morphine. Drug dealers can press the pills so that they look indistinguishable from the real deal. The user has no idea that their pills are laced with fentanyl until they start to take effect.

If you’re suspicious that you or someone you know has possibly taken Xanax that’s been laced with fentanyl, be on the lookout for the following symptoms:

Symptoms of Fentanyl Overdose

  • Pinpoint pupils
  • Confusion
  • Pale face
  • Vomiting
  • Dizziness
  • Seizures
  • Low blood pressure
  • Limp body
  • Excessive drowsiness
  • Frequently losing consciousness

Symptoms of Xanax Overdose

  • Repeated loss of consciousness (including fainting)
  • Poor balance and coordination
  • Muscle weakness
  • Feeling lightheaded
  • Confusion

Notice that vomiting, pinpoint pupils and seizures are overdose symptoms of fentanyl but not of Xanax. Be on high alert for these signs when taking Xanax recreationally.

The Current Drug Overdose Epidemic

Over the last three years, deaths from drug overdoses have exploded in number, thanks largely to the massive influx of fentanyl into the drug supply. When officials released the figures from 2016, the statistics were staggering. Nationwide, statisticians estimate that 64,000 deaths were caused by drug overdoses in the year 2016 alone. That’s a 22% increase from 2015. Over this same time, drug overdoses involving fentanyl had more than doubled.

Xanax and Fentanyl Awareness Is On The Rise

On November 15th of 2017, the 23-year-old rapper, Lil Peep, died of a lethal drug overdose just hours before he was scheduled to perform in Tuscon, AZ. The young star was found unconscious and unresponsive on his tour bus after taking Xanax he had gotten from a fan. According to the coroner, no alcohol was found in Lil Peep’s system, and the official cause of death was a lethal overdose of Xanax and fentanyl.

The death of Lil Peep has sent shockwaves through the rap community. Several rappers who knew or were inspired by Lil Peep are now speaking out against Xanax use, including Lil Xan. Formerly a benzodiazepine addict himself, Lil Xan is now the leader of Xanarchy, a movement that’s dedicated to discouraging the use of Xanax.

On their own, Xanax and other benzodiazepines are dangerously addictive medications that have the potential for severe side effects and life-threatening withdrawal symptoms. When combined with the opioid fentanyl, the potential for overdose is high. More people are dying every year form fentanyl-related drug overdoses, and the numbers are staggering. When you choose to take Xanax other than what you’re doctor prescribes, you’re not just running the risk of becoming addicted to benzodiazepines. You also have an excellent chance of your pills being laced with a potentially lethal dose of fentanyl.


If you or anyone you love is suffering from benzodiazepine addiction, or would like more information on the topics discussed above, please, give Stonewall Institute Treatment Center a call today at (602) 535-6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

Healing Toxic Emotions through Vulnerability in Recovery

One of the main obstacles to drug and alcohol recovery is the shame associated with substance abuse. A lifetime of addiction can leave behind a wake of regretful actions, damaged relationships, and poor decisions. It can feel overwhelming to face the reality of what life has become, but by sharing your story in Alcoholics Anonymous and other formats, you can move past your shame towards a healthy recovery.

What Is Shame?

Shame is different than guilt. When you feel guilty, you recognize that you did something wrong and act to correct it. Guilt is usually a healthy, motivating emotion. You may say to yourself, “I shouldn’t have done that, but it doesn’t represent who I am.”

Shame is different. It results in negative self-talk such as “I’m so terrible, I can’t believe I did that.” You see your regretful action as a reflection of who you are as a person. Unlike guilt, with shame, you may not try to repair the damage you’ve caused. Instead, you attempt to hide from or ignore the pain. You may disconnect from yourself and from others.

Healthy Shame vs Toxic Shame and Addiction

Believe it or not, not all shame is bad. Shame can serve as a moral compass and a reminder that you are not the all-powerful being you sometimes think you are. Good shame comes in the form of “innate moral shame.” When shame gets out of control, it becomes “internalized shame.” Internalized shame is toxic.

Healthy shame can guide you in the right direction when you have a difficult ethical decision to make. You may lie to your coworker and take a larger percentage of the profits than was agreed upon. The shame you feel for doing this can direct you to be more honest in the future. This type of shame is the foundation of humility and spirituality. Healthy shame can even push you to seek help for addiction when you recognize that substance abuse is the driving force behind your immoral behavior.

But shame isn’t always positive, and this is what makes it such a complicated emotion to understand. It’s internalized shame, or toxic shame, that fuels addictive behaviors. When shame consumes you and makes you feel that you are inherently a bad person, that’s when it can destroy you rather than motivate you towards recovery.

The Destructive Nature of Internalized Shame

Internalized shame makes you feel that you are the problem rather than the decisions you make and the actions you take. Rather than feeling regretful or embarrassed for a short period, you feel like a flawed person. Maybe you even go so far as to feel that you’re not worthy of love. Internalized shame can make you feel inherently defective. At that point, trying to improve yourself is a lost cause. The only way to escape your shame, and yourself, is to use substances to hide from what you’ve become.

Toxic shame is one of the most destructive emotions because it’s all-encompassing and becomes your state of being. Shame is soul sickness at its worst. Internalized shame is at the core of addictive behaviors.

Coping with Toxic Shame Through Substance Abuse

As toxic shame gets worse, you may take every means necessary to isolate yourself from the people who care about you. Distance is the only way to create a separate version of yourself and experience a break from the pain.

What better way to distance yourself than to abuse drugs and alcohol? It’s the easiest, fastest solution. If you’re already genetically predisposed to addiction, the combination of toxic shame and substance can be a lethal one. On one end you have the shame pushing you to seek something outside of yourself in order to feel okay. This can come in the form of money, power, sex, drugs or alcohol. Although these behaviors provide a momentary escape, they only add to the shame and regret after the buzz wears off.

The disease of addiction can take what would have been a healthy shame and turn it into toxic shame. This is especially true with young addicts, especially if their entire adult life has been consumed by addiction. Addiction is their identity. It can lead to a compulsive cycle that fuels more shame and more addictive behavior.

The Healing Power of Vulnerability

Healing toxic shame can be a painful process, but it’s an essential part of drug and alcohol recovery. If you’ve been using substances to escape from your feelings of shame, healing can be especially difficult. You’ll need to completely reverse your relationship with shame and meet it head-on.

It’s okay to recognize the shame that you feel for the decisions you’ve made. Healing begins when you admit that your shame doesn’t represent who you are as a person. Only then can you move forward in recovery.

Shame thrives when you’re in isolation. To beat it, you’re going to need to connect with others and share your story. By externalizing your shame and being vulnerable in front of people you trust, you can begin to recover. Psychologist Brene Brown is a massive proponent of the power of vulnerability to transform your life and become a leader in your community. Vulnerability is also an essential part of healing shame. When you trust someone to accept you for all your flaws you can start to change the negative beliefs you have about yourself.

Alcoholics Anonymous: Healing through Human Connection

Alcoholics Anonymous is a 12-step recovery program that works. Why is it so effective for so many people?

It relies on the power of vulnerability and human connection to heal toxic shame. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are full of people who know the shame of addiction all too well. You can feel safe to share your experience, get feedback, and start to disconnect from the shame that you’ve identified with for so long.

With that being said, Alcoholics Anonymous isn’t for everyone. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to a group of people you’ve only recently met, the same power of vulnerability can be experienced by sharing with another support group, mentor or therapist. For most recovering addicts, however, Alcoholics Anonymous is the most effective route to take.

Other recovering addicts will need more than just Alcoholics Anonymous. Inpatient and intensive outpatient substance abuse treatment programs can provide a solid foundation for addiction recovery.

Stonewall Institute Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center in Phoenix, Arizona provides services for drug and alcohol dependency and co-occurring issues. Services are delivered in a private upscale outpatient treatment setting using evidence-based treatment methods. Our program allows clients to sustain life responsibilities while providing an intensive treatment environment 3 evenings per week for 10 weeks. Clients in our Drug and Alcohol Treatment program will learn about underlying issues that contribute to substance dependence and obtain the vital skills necessary to sustain long-term sobriety and recovery.


If you or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse, Stonewall Institute Treatment Center is available to answer any questions you may have. Call us today at 602-535 6468 or email us at info@stonewallinstitute.com.

Welcoming Drug and Alcohol Rehab AZ

Stonewall Institute offers a welcoming drug and alcohol rehab in Arizona.  Located in Phoenix, no other AZ drug and alcohol treatment program can provide so much help with dignity and respect that is also affordable.  As an intensive outpatient program, you don’t have to give up your daily obligations to get the chemical dependency treatment you deserve.  Call 602-535-6468 today to schedule a drug and alcohol evaluation.  For more information, visit www.stonewallinstitute.com

Substance Abuse Treatment Arizona

Stonewall Institute offers the best AZ substance abuse treatment program you can find.  Their alcohol and drug rehab uses evidence-based protocols to help teach sober coping skills and relapse prevention.  Call 602-535-6468 today to schedule a drug and alcohol evaluation and check out their website at www.stonewallinstitute.com.

Best AZ Alcohol and Drug Rehab

Stonewall Institute is best Arizona alcohol and drug rehab you can find.  It offers a drug and alcohol treatment program that addresses issues that accompany addiction and substance abuse.  If you or a loved one needs help with alcohol or drugs during this holiday season, call 602-535-6468 today to schedule an appointment for a drug and alcohol evaluation.  For more information, visit the website at www.stonewallinstitute.com

AZ Alcohol and Drug Treatment That Works

Stonewall Institute offers AZ alcohol and drug treatment that works.  Staffed by AZ licensed drug counselors, this IOP offers the best alcohol and drug rehab in Arizona.  If you need help with alcohol abuse or have issues with drug use, call 602-535-6468 today to schedule a drug and alcohol evaluation.  For more information, visit www.stonewallinstitute.com

 

Best AZ Drug Rehab

Stonewall Institute is the best AZ drug rehab offering drug addiction treatment in an intensive outpatient programPrescription drug abuse has skyrocketed, and drug overdoses have become common.  It’s time to treat opioid abuse with compassion and evidence-based practices.  Call 602-535-6468 to schedule your drug and alcohol evaluation and get started in your path to recovery from addiction today.  For more information, visit the website at www.stonewallinstitute.com